25-04-2025 – And The Stupid Thing I Did In First Period

posted YYYY-MM-DD

I was in Chemistry – my Lieblingsfach turned living hell. Due to a previous incident involving the aformentioned subject, there was a [supporting adult? I don't remember the word] near me. (I've mentioned her on here before, but ICBA to explain where.) This already miffed me because of something else I can't mention. Plus, one of the reasons I hate Chemistry so is because of where I used to sit. The teacher's desk & the whiteboard was directly behind me and 2 people I have a distaste for sat IN FRONT OF ME, always chattering about SOMETHING. We're doing a practical (I didn't do the last one) and I'm doing the mise en place. I don't like working w/ people because, uh, I'm insecure or something idk. We're getting iron out of iron oxide with carbon powder. I'm afaraid I was very moody. The original mixture of FeO + C looked more on the C side. I sprinkled some more carbon on anyways. The carbon was kinda clumpy, so I stabbed at it and it went everywhere. I should've stopped there, but I didn't. I had almost finished the sprinkling (Or maybe I had... It doesn't matter.) when one of the 2 people I was talking about before asked for the carbon. Again. So I was like, Just take it, then!, and I, I dunno, shove the carbon-holding beaker at her, and then it all comes out. Something inside of me was blocking out any feeling of shame, remorse and/or guilt. For a second, I was thinking, So when I'm trying to use it for my work, it's rock hard, but when I aggravate a student, it's practically a liquid??? . And then the supporting adult gal told me to take a step back.